Guilty Pleasure (Protect and Serve Book 3) Page 3

  “Hey Finn,” I managed to say without giving myself away, but on the inside, I was shaken. I turned to my dad and said, “You didn’t tell me we were having company this weekend.”

  “Yeah well, you know. Finn’s practically family anyway, and with this being the first time we’ve come up here for Jacob’s sake since you became a police officer, I just… I thought it might be nice to have other people around, people who know what it’s like.”

  That did make sense, and it was sweet of my dad to worry about me. Too bad it had to be Finn, though.

  “Geez, I didn’t know I was gonna be intruding on a family thing,” Finn said, looking back at the door. “I thought it was just a weekend of fishing like always. You know, I can go. It’s not that far to the city and you guys should probably spend this special time with just… you know, family.”

  “Hell, you’re family, Finn. You know that,” my dad said, clapping him on the shoulder and heading off to the kitchen to get him a beer.

  Finn looked around awkwardly then wandered over to the sofa. He sat down, but he didn’t look at me.

  “Look, Veronica, I swear I didn’t know you were coming. I just assumed when Henry invited me that you’d be working the holiday weekend since you’re a rookie and all,” he stammered softly.

  “I believe you,” I answered with a sigh. “But I’m sure we can behave like grownups for a few days, right?”

  “Yeah. Absolutely.” Finn looked up suddenly when my dad walked in, passing another round of beers to us.

  And therein lies the problem. Finn could absolutely behave like a grownup because, despite his romantic confession in the breakroom earlier, he was always calm and in charge. I, on the other hand, was in deep trouble. Four days in a secluded cabin nestled among the trees on the most gorgeous mountain in the world… with the man I wanted more than the air I breathe.

  What could possibly go wrong?

  Chapter Five

  Finn

  I was gonna kill Henry. If I didn’t know better—and I certainly knew better, because Henry would be the last guy on earth to be thrilled that I’d come anywhere near Veronica—I’d think he purposely didn’t tell me Veronica was coming up here this weekend. Somehow, that missing detail was even more worrisome when I thought about it for too long.

  I had to look at it this way: if Henry went out of his way to mention that Veronica would be there, he would have had a reason to bring it up. By not telling me, he was actually sending a really clear message that he didn’t see any reason for me to even know what she was up to, let alone care. She was still just a kid in his mind, and that meant I was supposed to see her that way, too.

  It meant I was the furthest thing from his mind where his daughter was concerned. He still saw her as the family member who was always tagging along on our fishing trips and joining us for burgers at our cookouts, but now, I knew her way better than that.

  And somehow, I had to make it through the next four days with Veronica sleeping on the other side of a very old, thin wall. I knew I would by lying there all night, remembering how incredible she’d looked in bed with me, how her skin had goose-bumped under my touch, how warm she’d been…

  Stop it, fool! I thought angrily, digging around in my duffel bag for some shorts to sleep in.

  This wasn’t going to work. I needed to find some excuse to leave early, to hightail it back to the city and leave these two to their—

  I couldn’t do that. I knew why Henry had invited me on this particular weekend this year. Jacob had been gone seven years, and for some reason, his birthday was even harder on Henry than the date of Jacob’s death. I knew it had something to do with having missed so many of the kid’s birthdays growing up, back when Henry and I were just starting out as patrol cops, then later on once Henry began really moving up in rank. Now that the kid was gone, his birthday was just a reminder to Henry of everything he’d missed out on, and would never have again.

  And to top it off, the last person Henry had left on earth had gone and joined the force. First Henry’s wife, then his son… and who knows what could happen to V in a job like ours.

  God, this sucked. I couldn’t turn my back on him now, not when my best friend needed people around for a few days.

  I slipped out of my clothes and threw on the shorts, then ducked into the bathroom to get ready for bed. I’d made sure to wait until I’d heard V finish up in there and close the door to her bedroom, just so there wouldn’t be any awkward, half-naked passes in the hallway. I hurried, then practically ran back to my room.

  And slammed chest-first into Veronica.

  “What are you doing—” she started to say, but I urged her to whisper, my hands still gripping her shoulders where I’d instinctively kept her from falling.

  “Sorry,” I muttered, but I still didn’t release her. I could barely make out her face in the darkness, but I could hear her breath hitch.

  “Finn,” she said in a voice so soft it sounded more like an exhale than a reply. I waited expectantly for her to say something else, but she didn’t finish her thought.

  Before I could force myself to let go, to tell her goodnight and slink back to my room alone, I felt her hands slide up my middle, coming to rest on my chest. Without even thinking, I wrapped my arms around her, holding her closer and nuzzling her neck. I closed my eyes, letting this feeling and the scent of her wash over me as Veronica leaned her head against my chest.

  I turned my face toward her, selfishly letting my cheek brush against hers just to feel the smoothness of her skin. Veronica turned and found my mouth with hers, hesitating for only a moment before deepening the kiss until we clutched at each other hungrily in the dark.

  A sudden noise from the loft overhead made us stop at once, both of us craning to listen for Henry. Veronica pulled me towards her room, but I froze.

  “No Veronica, it’s not right,” I whispered.

  “I’m tired of caring about what’s right,” she replied, and for a moment, the longing in her voice was almost my undoing.

  Still, I stood my ground. “No, this is your dad’s house. I can’t… I’m not going to disrespect him like that. Or disrespect you.”

  Veronica didn’t answer. And in the darkness, I couldn’t make out her expression. Too soon, her touch melted away and she went back to her room, closing the door softly behind her.

  I was desperate to go after her, to follow her and take her in my arms, holding her until the sun came up. Instead, I let her walk away, suffering under the weight of my stupid rejection. I thought about going after her for a second, but Henry’s voice behind me stopped me cold.

  “Hey there, Finn. You can’t sleep either?” he asked before striking a match and lighting a hurricane lamp.

  “Oh, yeah. I guess it’s just too quiet up here,” I answered, making up some excuse. “I’d have thought the beer might help, but I guess I’m too wound up.”

  “I know the feeling,” Henry answered with a soft laugh. “It seems like it takes more and more to really get me relaxed. That’s why I quit drinking altogether last year, except for special occasions and vacations. But we’re here to vacation, come on.”

  Henry led the way and I had no excuse not to follow him. He went to the living room, the light from his lamp flickering off the immensely high ceiling overhead and casting shadows around the room. Next to the fireplace, a fully-stocked liquor cabinet waited for us.

  “Here,” Henry said after pouring us each a glass of scotch. “This will help us sleep, if memory serves.”

  “Thanks,” I said, taking the glass of golden-brown goodness and falling into a chair, trying to pretend that I wasn’t exhausted.

  “There’s a lot of history up here,” Henry said, sitting down with his drink before looking around the immense, open cabin. “A lot of ghosts, too.”

  I nodded, knowing that he meant his wife, his son, and all the family members who’d passed on before him. Personally, I don’t know how he could stand to come back here year after year, bu
t then again, this had always been a part of him.

  We managed to down our scotch without too much conversation, and Henry mercifully started to nod off before I did. We both ended up back in our beds before too long, and thanks to a heavy drink, I was able to fall asleep pretty fast… only to dream about Veronica.

  Chapter Six

  Veronica

  What in the world was I going to do with Finn here for four days, all yummy six-and-a-half feet or so of him? Our little accidental exchange in the hallway had terrified me, proving for the millionth time that I was lousy at resisting him.

  And why should I resist? Just because he was older? Because we worked together? Because he’d been friends with my dad for as long as I’d known him?

  That was garbage. Every relationship has its pros and cons, and I could nitpick any one of them until I found flaws.

  By the time the sun came up, I felt like I’d barely slept. My little twin bed had felt impossibly empty with only me to take up space. I couldn’t help but envision Finn crammed into Jacob’s old bed in the next room, from the moment I’d finally managed to drift off until I woke up this morning. I wanted nothing more than to go in there, to slip under the covers and simply be with him.

  Instead, I’d been restless for most of the night before giving up shortly after dawn. I got up and dressed quickly, then hurried out to the kitchen where I knew my dad would already be waiting.

  “I’m just about ready to head out,” he said before passing me a mug of coffee. I took a sip and pressed my hands against the sides of the warm mug. “Think we should let the old man sleep in, or should we wake him?”

  “Nah, he knows where we’re going,” I answered, knowing he was referring to Finn. “He’s been here plenty of times, if he doesn’t know his way down to the lake by now…”

  Still, I looked to his bedroom door and saw that it was closed. I felt a stab of disappointment that he hadn’t risen with the sun like the rest of us, but then again, this trip was about me and my dad, not my raging lust for someone who was supposed to be off-limits.

  “You ready?” my dad asked, handing me a picnic basket to carry down to the boat.

  We set out down the hill to where my grandfather’s old rowboat waited. It was still in good shape after all these years, even if we did have to knock a few spiders out of the overturned hull every time we went out on the water. We heaved the aluminum boat over and loaded it up, then shoved it and got ready to push off.

  “Oh, darn. Hold up, kiddo, I left my phone on the counter. I’d hate for someone at the precinct to try to reach me,” my dad said, patting his pockets just to be sure. “I’ll just be a minute.”

  “I’ll go back,” I said, teasing him by saying, “I’m younger than you, and in better shape.”

  “Watch it, young’un!” my dad called back, but as if trying to prove a point, I was already part way up the hill before he thought to shout.

  I made it to the house and slipped inside quietly in case Finn was still asleep. The last thing I needed was an awkward confrontation after the way he’d pretty much rejected me last night. I went over to the kitchen area and turned in a circle, but there was no phone anywhere in sight.

  As I turned in a circle again, looking for the phone, I gave a yelp of surprise when I came face to face with Finn. He seemed equally surprised, especially since he was still only wearing a thin pair of shorts.

  “Veronica! I thought you guys left already,” he said, looking very out of place.

  “Um, yeah,” I stammered, unable to tear my eyes from his chest. “Um, I mean, my dad forgot his phone, so…”

  “Oh right,” Finn said, looking around too. “The station might call, he can’t go without that.”

  I followed Finn into the living room to see if it was on the table or near one of the chairs, but we didn’t see it.

  “Maybe he has it with him and doesn’t realize it,” I said in defeat. “I’m just gonna… I’m gonna go.”

  “Veronica, wait,” Finn called out when I reached for the doorknob. I stopped, but I didn’t turn around. “We can’t keep on like this, both of us pretending that things are fine when they’re not, pretending that we don’t have feelings for each other when… we obviously do.”

  I didn’t move or say anything, too busy trying to keep tears that were pooling in my eyes from falling. Instead, I only nodded.

  “Veronica, please talk to me.”

  I turned to face him and ran my hands through my hair, frustration eating at me. I wanted this man more than anything, I had for a long time. And even if he felt the same way, it simply wasn’t possible. I couldn’t hurt my dad with that kind of weird betrayal, and I wasn’t going to give up a job that I’d worked so hard for. Both of those things meant too much to me to risk losing them over a man who’d been so hot and cold that I could never figure out what he was feeling.

  “What do you want me to say, Finn?” I asked, my voice sounding needier than I wanted it to.

  “Say you’ll work with me, that we’ll try to figure this out,” he said, coming closer but stopping just short of being able to reach for me.

  “I don’t know how,” I said, admitting my flaw in all of this. “I know, I’m the one who chased you, but I think it’s because I was expecting you to be the grownup, to keep me at arm’s length and not divulge my little fantasy.”

  “So it was all right for you to want me, but not for me to love you in return?” he asked, a wounded look on his face.

  “You love me?” I whispered.

  “More than anything,” Finn confessed, and my resolve crumbled like the sand beneath the water’s edge. My tears betrayed me, and as soon as one slipped down my cheek, Finn was there to brush it away.

  “I don’t know what to do,” I said softly, almost sadly.

  “Then don’t think about it,” he said, leaning down so his lips could brush mine. He kissed me softly, then pulled back to say, “There’s plenty of time to figure out how, so long as we both agree on why.”

  I looked up at Finn, meeting his eye and never wavering. The depth of feeling I saw reflected there was both enormous and unnerving. But somehow, I knew he was right. We didn’t have to figure this out right now, we just had to believe.

  I stretched up on tiptoe and kissed him, a lingering kiss that spoke of having all the time in the world. As my arms wound around his neck, he lifted me up and carried me across the room before laying me back gently on the sofa. The weight of him was a welcoming comfort as he stretched out on top of me, a security blanket that meant everything was finally going to be alright.

  “Finn,” I said, my lips still pressed to his, “I love you.”

  “I love you too, V,” he replied, his mouth moving down my cheek and along the lower edge of my earlobe, the heat of his breath sending shivers throughout my body.

  Finn lay nestled between my legs which I wrapped around him, holding him to me and refusing to let him go. He was mine and I was his, no matter what happened from now on. He was everything I’d ever wanted, even as I was slowly becoming his whole world. It was strange how I’d known so much about him all this time, but he was still learning who I really was and seeing me in a whole new light.

  When Finn’s hand slipped beneath the hem of my t-shirt and grazed the skin of my stomach, all of my senses came alive. I was instantly reminded of the amazing night we’d spent together, even while I craved more of him and longed for his touch. It was as if I couldn’t get close enough to him, despite the way his hands gripped me and refused to let go.

  Finn balanced himself on one arm, sliding his forearm beneath my head and cradling me gently as he continued to kiss me. Any moment now we would become one entity, one being that was no longer separate but indelibly wound around the other until there was no difference between us. The strength of his arm rippled beneath my neck and I felt safe, protected from all of the things that had caused me to become a police officer in the first place. In Finn’s arms, nothing could hurt me ever again… not pain, l
oss, sadness, or emptiness. All of it disintegrated in the cloud that surrounded us.

  I had the sudden need to feel Finn completely. I slid the edge of my shirt up so that his bare chest could warm me, breaking our kiss only long enough to pull it off over my head. Finn remained propped up on his elbow, his free hand caressing my bare skin as we kissed.

  “Finn, I want you,” I said breathlessly, closing my eyes and reveling in the way his mouth felt against my neck.

  “You have me, V. I’m yours,” he answered before I felt his teeth scrape wonderfully against my skin.

  The isolated world of euphoria we’d plunged into erupted into nothingness when a barking voice shouted out from the doorway.

  “What the hell are you doing?” my dad roared, slamming the door shut behind him.

  Chapter Seven

  Finn

  No one spoke for several seconds, but it felt like an eternity. I swear, years passed in the space of only those few moments. Finally, I heard Veronica mutter a soft “shit” in my ear, and I realized that all of the happiness and love between us had just popped like a useless balloon.

  I sat up quickly, doing my best to rack my brain to think of something to say to my best friend. He’d just walked in on his daughter to find her making out like a hormonal teenager, only the guy on top of her was on the wrong side of being about twenty years older. Worse, he was practically her uncle, at least in Henry’s mind.

  “Henry, I’m sorry. It’s… well, it’s exactly what it looks like,” I said, more embarrassed than I’d ever been in my life.

  “Yeah? Because what it looks like is you have ten seconds to get your ass out of this cabin before I shoot you,” Henry barked.

  “Dad, that’s enough,” Veronica said quietly, sitting up and reaching for her shirt. She slipped it on and said, “I’m a grown up, remember? I get to make my own decisions?”

  “Not when it comes to me finding this guy grinding on top of you, ya don’t!” Henry shouted back.